A Pirate's Life For Me
Masks and Masts

Vices rolling,

Stained windows glowing

But never showing the sorrow inside.

I am an earthquake on days like this

Where my heart aches for the One

Who is Water and Bliss.

But all my ecstasies wait for me somewhere in time

And my anatomy says that my body’s divine—


Never single, never alone again

But all this time it’s what I’ve needed

to feel whole again.

I slipped in through the corridor

Escaping the rumors and shouts of humanness

To meet with You my beloved One.

I waited longer today than I have before

But it seems that You’ve forgotten and I miss your kiss…

You say instead, “Meet my other son”,

And I feel that the risk

Is not worth what’s won

Because I need You now

And I’m unfamiliar with this.

You are Life

Yet this is my life…

Striving to feel You,

Wondering if I hear You,

Longing to know You.

I am thirsty, Water.

Drink me and let me fill You.

Make me nothing but pale blue

And a piece of matter in your oceanic commotion.

Make me only a host

and a sea of glass, a sail on a boat.

Because they’re hoisting the masts.

I am nothing but a sea of glass

A sail on a boat,

A host

A holy ghost. 

Some moments we just have to embrace all of the best things about life and by our will choose not to acknowledge anything that opposes that those gifts from God are good. Depression, stress and anxiety do not promote and propel us into bliss; they instead steal our joy, health, wonder, and dreams. I suppose this is why Paul says to only focus on those things that are “good, lovely, pure, and admirable.”

I must make an aim to always be drunk on love and happy about the good things however small they may be. It doesn’t mean that I’ll ignore the reality of evil tormenting those in the world or shut up my heart from having compassion. It just means that I allow JOY to propel me.

I am not living to make a name for myself or to become greater than everyone else. I am not in competition. I will enjoy the simple things and delight in pleasing the heart of my Father by enjoying each moment He gives to me.

WHY am I so friggin emotionally unstableeeee?? Like, I feel that my natural state is confident, happy and chill. But now that I’m in a relationship, I am suddenly some crazy bipolar chick with extremely low self-esteem and no backbone. Being alone can’t always be the solution, but it feels like the only one. 

There were times when I mourned, wishing that I would finally begin living my life. Now I see that I was living more during those times than I am now and I regret that I didn’t embrace those seasons while I lived them. 


Blue Ridge Parkway Fall Sunset by Dave Allen
The breath of life was enclosed in the earth, which became pregnant with it.I Zohar 49a (via rainbowfashionista)

Not I
"I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me."~Galatians 2:20
The spiritual path and awakening is not something that happens once, contrary to those who proclaim, “Yes, I met Jesus in Detroit in 1987 and was saved…”
Meeting the Christ is one thing — we can all rejoice for that — but walking with him is the challenge. The spiritual path is a day to day, minute to minute unfolding that never is completed, here or in the worlds that follow.
We have somewhere gotten the belief — and this is a recent development in religious thought — that all a person has to do is fill out a basic application: (1) Do you know who Jesus is? (2) Do you accept him as your savior? If you answer yes to both, you’re in and everybody else is out.
But the kingdom of heaven is not entered through a simple exam. The way extracts a price — anything worth having requires action. When the man dug up the pearl of great price in the field, he didn’t just congratulate himself and take it home. He had to sell everything he owned — meaning his ego, his inflated sense of worth, his anger, his hatred, his disregard for those in need — and only then could he have the joy that he had uncovered.
Stripping those things away is not an easy task. It is humbling and painful. It can bring misunderstanding and rejection from those whom we thought loved us and wished us best. It is to risk the wrath of those who believe that a knowledge of the “legalities of religion” is all that’s needed.
This is to be crucified with Christ, to move from our human nature to the nature of the Divine, to be transformed in atonement or at-one-ment within the mystical body of Christ.
Before Christianity was known as Christianity, it was simply called, “The Way.” And the way of crucifixion is difficult, not easy. Ask the young, rich man who came to Jesus and asked what he must do to gain eternal life. “Sell all you have and give it to the poor …” came the answer.
The young man must have been stunned. He knew the commandments, the scriptures. He could quote them at will, no doubt, and was perhaps expecting to be given a compliment for his knowledge, the seal of approval.
But Jesus had a way of finding what each person valued, and that is what he said must be surrendered. To the Pharisees, he challenged them by saying they must move beyond the letter of the law. To those with high social contacts, he said they must go to the sick, the naked. They must eat with tax collectors and prostitutes.
To be crucified is to become totally exposed, to be at the crossroads — literally — between earth and sky, right and wrong and inside and outside. It is to open one’s self up to the most tender depths, to throw aside all the defenses, the protective armor, and what could be more difficult? It is the emptying of the ego and, as nature abhors a vacuum, it has to be filled and is — for as Paul writes, “Not I, but Christ who lives in me.”
For many people, that moment is not one of a lightning bolt out of the blue. God is not in the business of offering spiritual shock therapy. It is often a gentle and loving process in which the spirit is permeated slowly by the realization that yes, you can trust. Yes, you can have faith. Out of the dark night of the soul comes the brightness of a realization that God’s loving presence is neither a gift nor something to be earned or bargained for. It is your truest, deepest most real nature to which you are returning, the Original Goodness that each of us can lay claim to.
And then, day to day in works of love and only in works of love, can one say that it is not I, not the ego, who determines who I am and what I do, but Christ who lives in and through me.
~By Brian Robertson
(art via alanstanglin.com)

Untitled | via Tumblr en We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/89192114

Mystical wolf en We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/103645248

I am here
I am now
With a million doubts and a burned down house.
I have no vision of the future
I am lucrative and strong
But I will never be won.

I am hanging on one word
One word of a sentence and not to my judgment
For once.
You say my heart is sweet but you trample it underfoot
With kindness I “mistook” for madness.

How did the greatest in all this self-exaltation
Dispel by his own mind
Every truth and hope in every lie
For his salvation?

Insecurity robs the kings of their power
And accusation is self-destruction anyhow.
Never to lean on another light than self
Is a sad, sad conclusion
To draw when you’re living out of an illusion.

I have to trust that your mind is being renewed then…
And even then, will I ever see you again?
My love, my love, my perfect one
I sing a song in hopes of your return.
Call it necromancy, but that man is still living
And I am awaiting this one’s dying.

Necromancy by Andrea Peterson
At work and swaggering.

I’m tired and I give up. Relationships are no fun when you shut down, but they also wreak the greatest emotional havoc when they’re unstable and you don’t. I thought I would be able to stop having to protect myself; apparently that was never true. Lip service. I often wonder if good things are even real or just borrowed ideas from another realm that I’m not in.

What were considered to be my weaknesses became my advantages.